Friday, September 14, 2012

Oh, and more importantly, I finally started Dr. Who!
A few things...

1. These two things represent some of my current feelings:

...and the "like you" part is really
stretching it.
...which is why I mostly just
stay in my house these days.

2. I am considering making my own costume for RenFest. The prices at the costume shops at the festival are so astronomical. A girl that I work with made her own corset for half the cost of what they charge for the same thing, plus, it's reversible. So it is really two corsets for half the cost of one of theirs. Dunno. I'm thinking that I am going to need a better sewing machine if I take on this task. The only one I have is a small beginner one that we bought for The Teenager a few Christmas's ago (that she had to have, yet has never touched, ha!).

3. I checked out TLC's Breaking Amish last night. I'm intrigued. 

4. I'm not sure it I have much more actually. I'm glad that it is Friday! I look forward to my weekend job. It's a nice little break from the norm and I love my RenFest "family".

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I'm slowly trying to bring myself back from the dead. Slowly.
If you don't know, I dealt with some postpartum depression after Tobin was born. Quite honestly, I'm pretty sure that I was dealing with it after Darby was born, but I didn't do anything about it.
It has pretty much consumed my existence, and dealing with it on your own is quite a daunting task.

I had been taking a mild antidepressant for a little while after my 6 week postpartum check up, but I found myself feeling as though I needed to up the dosage every few weeks. When the prescription ran out I didn't renew it. On top of everything they wanted me to see a therapist in order to continue the medication. Well, adding another series of appointments to keep track of to the schedule of someone who can't even bring herself to feed the animals in the morning because the thought of it is too overwhelming is not the answer. I did, however, feel as though that short period of time being on the medication helped me to pinpoint cues, and so I felt that I could manage myself more easily.

It hasn't really been a great success, but I'm getting there. That has a lot to do with why I'm so bad about blogging right now, and kind of all over the place.

I haven't really talked to anyone much about it because, frankly, there isn't much to say. There is plenty going on in my head, but it doesn't translate. Even if there were something to say, I don't bring it up because most people don't seem to understand that talking about something doesn't mean that I'm looking for you to solve my problem. I'm not really looking for anyone to solve my problem. I find unsolicited advice to be one of the biggest annoyances in the history of man. Quite honestly, understanding and silence, are far more valuable than useless chatter. That sounds kind of shitty, I suppose, I don't mean it to, and I certainly don't mind words of support, other people's experiences, etc. I'm just easily wearied by the high horse/"here's what you need to do". I don't care what you have read/studied/whatever. If you haven't done this, you have no idea. All of the suggestions from your text book mean nothing to me.

That said, I'm actually going to attempt to use blogging as a way to pull myself out of the crater. Not that I want to blog about this, but maybe blogging, even if it is awful and uninspired for a while, can bring some order back into my existence. 

Hilariously, when I decided to start this thing over (the blog, I mean) I was all fired up about "living deliberately" and I've done anything but that ever since. Ha! The "deliberate living" part of me still lives, I just need to pull it out of the rubble. 
I'm kind of hoping that if I can get back into the swing of blogging, I can get back into the swing of life.
We shall see. 

If you are still around to read this, I am so grateful to you. You have the patience of a saint!

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Found this on Pinterest:
(More and more of my conversations are starting out with some variation of that statement...)

You just laughed out loud. For real.
Happy Hump Day, y'all!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Man, RenFest season wears me out, yo!

This is my second year working our local Renaissance Festival. I absolutely love it. I love the people that I work with, the people-watching, the atmosphere. I love getting there early in the morning before even most of the employees are there and walking around in the woods through our little "village".
I marvel at the women who walk around in their gorgeous costumes that have to be a billion degrees, not to mention heavy as sin, and wonder how in the hell they manage in the port-a-potties. Seriously, some of these costumes have to be hundreds of dollars worth of investment. Probably closer to 1000+ by the time you add in the accessories and stuff.
We have men who walk around in full suits of metal armor - again, the heat! Holy Moly, people.
It is just such a hoot to be a part of. It also makes for a hectic 9 weeks. The festival only runs on the weekends, but we pretty much put in 10 to 12 hour days each day, most of it on our feet.

One of these days I'll remember to take my camera with me so I can share some photos with you guys.

Happy Monday!